Bringing My Scars to Work

You can be seconds away from a meeting and feel your chest tighten like life is closing in. That moment where you sit in the car, let the tears come, wipe your face, and walk back into work like nothing happened isn’t rare and it isn’t weakness. I’m naming the reality a lot of men live with: rising stress, heavy responsibility, and old scars that still show up in the middle of a normal day.

I talk about what it feels like when your time isn’t respected, when you’ve been too flexible for too long, and when you’re giving pieces of yourself away until you feel empty. We slow down for a mirror moment and ask the hard questions about performing while you’re internally struggling, and whether you’re giving yourself any space to process what you carry. I also share how faith has guided me, including Philippians 4:13, and why remembering past endurance can help when today feels like the breaking point.

You’ll walk away with practical  strategies for stress management and men’s mental health: a two-minute reset, acknowledging what’s hitting you, separating the task from the emotion, building real outlets, being careful who you open up to, and using weekly priorities to cut through overwhelm. If you’re working on emotional resilience, boundaries, and healing while still showing up for your family and your job, this conversation is for you. Subscribe, share it with a brother who needs it, and leave a review so more scarred sons can find a way forward.

Follow the show for new weekly episodes, discussing a journey of healing, growth, and becoming the man you were meant to be.

Connect with me on Instagram: @scarred.sons

If this episode spoke to you, share it with another Scarred Son on his healing journey.

This podcast is not a substitute for professional therapy. If you need help, please seek support from a licensed mental health provider.

Transcript

Pressure Right Before You Perform

Ty 0:00

We're living in a time where it feels like pressure is everywhere. Costs are going up, responsibilities are growing, the world feels heavy. And even if you try to ignore it, you still feel it. Because it doesn't just stay out there, it follows you into your thoughts, into your emotions, into your day. And for me, these are moments where all of that hits at once. I'm talking about right before I walk into a meeting for work or take a call. Right before I have to show up and perform. I'm not saying that's only when these things happen, but that's what I want to talk about today. Welcome

What Scarred Sons Is About

Ty 0:42

to the Scarred Sons Podcast, where we dive into scars of life and the outcomes they shape. This podcast is a space for honest conversations about my journey, the lessons learned, the struggles endured, and the growth that followed. Geared towards helping other sons with scars. We'll explore topics like personal development, mental and spiritual health, and the path to becoming the best version of yourself. Let's navigate these challenges together, one story at a time. Let's dive in. The views expressed on this podcast are based on my personal experiences and insights. I am not a licensed therapist, counselor, or medical professional, and the content shared is not intended as a substitute for professional advice or guidance. Please consult a qualified professional for advice tailored to your specific needs. I am not responsible for any decisions or outcomes resulting from the use of this content.

Crying In The Truck Then Returning

Ty 1:35

Before we dive in, I want you to know this is a safe space. I'm not here as someone who has it all figured out. Just a man willing to speak his truth. And if you carry scars, welcome home. There are moments where I have the following thoughts. Everything is a lot right now. I don't even have time to breathe. And in those moments, I know I could break down. And there have been times I have. Sitting in my truck, crying, just trying to release it. And then wiping my eyes, trying to clear the redness so I can get back to work and look normal again. Talk to my co-workers, talking to customers, like nothing ever happened. Because I have a job to do. And not because of work, not just because of my schedule, but because of everything, all of it together. The pressure of life right now, the weight of responsibilities, trying to stay afloat while still trying to grow. And then on top of that, being a scarred son, carrying things from the past while trying to show up in the present, trying to heal while life is still moving. And if I

When Your Time Is Not Respected

Ty 2:58

take it a step further, in most cases, I feel like my time isn't respected. Even when I'm the one in control of it. So many things find their way onto my calendar, and truthfully, I'm too nice sometimes, maybe more than sometimes. I'm too flexible with what I'm willing to do for others versus what I do for myself. There are days I feel empty, like there's no time left on the clock for me. I've been busy working, catering, handing out access like it's nothing. Giving pieces of myself away all day. And then I sit back and I ask myself, where did my time go? So when I ask, why am I so tired? That's why. And maybe you feel that too. And that's what makes this even harder. Because even with all of that, you still have to go to work. You still maybe have to be a father. You still have to be a husband. You still have to be a son. Being a scarred son doesn't stay at home. It comes with you into your car, into your thoughts, into your workspace. You can be in the middle of your day and something hits you. A memory, a thought, or a realization. And just like that, you're not fully present anymore. But you still have to show up. You still have to communicate, perform, and focus. Even when internally you're dealing with something heavy. And that's the part people don't see. I've

Hiding Heavy Emotions At Work

Ty 4:28

had so many of these moments, and honestly, what reminded me of this moment is man, I wish I knew his name. I wish I knew his Instagram handle. But there's a gentleman, a young man, he was on there. He was acting this out, which was very realistic of him in his car. I believe he might have been on a quick break at lunch, crying, but like seconds later, having to kill the emotion to go back to work. And I felt very compelled to speak on this because that's been me in so on so many days. It's like, wow. Like exactly what I want the podcast to do for you is what this post did for me. It's like, man, I felt seen in that moment because now I know I'm not the only person in the world that feels this and goes through this and experiences this. I mean, I could be having a good day, or maybe the day's not the best day, but it could be a couple things that come up. You know, maybe that pass through notice snuck in. Maybe you thought you had enough and you don't. Maybe you got a call from mom, dad, wife, girlfriend, son, daughter, whomever. Something didn't go right. The job needs something, a customer needs something. So many things to manage and not mix. The biggest thing for me is I try my best not to take one thing into another. But when I feel the breaking point, that boiling over moment, this is where we are. We're in the car, we're crying, and we're trying to release it so that we don't take it to the next situation. So that we don't take it into work, honestly. So when we get in those doors, nobody's asking us what's wrong. Because most times people really don't care. And in some other cases, I hate that it happens, but others are looking for something to use against you. And so we gotta guard ourselves and protect ourselves away from showing these emotions. That's when I realized life doesn't always give you time to process. There's no pause button. You still have responsibilities, you still have expectations, and now you're managing your emotions and your obligations all at the same time.

Mirror Moment For The Man Inside

Ty 6:39

This feels like a good time to pause for the mirror moment. Let's dive in. The mirror moment is a space where we slow down and we take an honest look at the man in the mirror. No distractions, no pressure, just reflection. Look at the man in the mirror. How often do you show up while carrying something nobody else can see? How often are you performing while you're internally struggling? And are you giving yourself any space to process what you're going through? Or are you just pushing through it day after day? Are you allowing yourself to feel it? Or just telling yourself to get over it? Because there's a difference. And maybe what you need isn't more pressure, but a moment to breathe. Thank you for listening to this week's mirror moment. Let's get back to the episode. I like to

Philippians 4:13 And Endurance

Ty 7:42

give scriptures now, man, because it's been a it's been a huge guide for me. And so I felt like this scripture fits this moment, fits this podcast pretty pretty well. So it's Philippians chapter 4, verse 13 in the New Living Testament. I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength. Very simple and straight to the point. If we allow ourselves to pass some of these things on to God, if we allow ourselves to connect with him, if this is your belief, then now may be the time to do so. Because he has strengthened me in many occasions and many times that I've passed things his way. When I sit back and really think about it, there's been so many times in my life where I didn't think I was going to make it through something. I mean, going all the way back to school, test, exams, finals, and just sitting there thinking, like, man, am I gonna pass this? And am I gonna get held back if I don't pass? And what are people gonna say? And somehow I made it through. I know we just read Philippians 4.13, and here's another example of that. I even think about my first job making $6.25 at Foolan. I started as a cart boy. Yeah, you're running carts, but you're kind of a janitor too. And then cashier to produce, to meet department, and so on and so forth. None of that really matters. What I'm getting at is I had to keep showing up to get that job. No one called me. I applied and no one called me back. So I started going up to the store and just talking to the managers. I'd put my suit on, I'd look professional, and I'd go up there and ask for an opportunity. And they continuously told me no. I don't know if it was my suit. I don't know if it was what I was saying. I don't know what it was, but I know they I knew they needed me because when I'm in the store, you can hear them calling for help and calling for this and calling for that. It's like, man, I don't understand why they don't give me a shot. But they still didn't. I had to keep going up there. And finally, on one day I went up there, they took me serious, and I ultimately ended up getting the job. Not on the spot still, but they could they did call me back. And then after college, 2009, me and my brother Mike, we went through it. Degrees in hand, but no job. Interview after interview, rejection after rejection, but we kept showing up. And eventually we found our way. And when I look back at all of that, that wasn't just survival, that was endurance being built. So when I'm in those moments now, feeling the pressure, feeling overwhelmed, feeling like it's too much, I remind myself, I've been there before. Different situation, same feeling. But I made it through.

Six Practical Ways To Reset

Ty 10:39

So before we close, I want to leave you with a few things that have helped me. Number one is a two-minute reset. Alright, just sit in silence when you can. Even if it's just in your car. Just give yourself a couple of moments to collect yourself to actually feel those feelings. Just get yourself a two-minute reset. Number two, acknowledge what's hitting you. Don't ignore it. Recognize it. Allow it to run through your body. Allow your body to feel the feelings from the thought. And don't run from it. Don't shy away from it. Because if you do, it'll keep coming back and haunting you until you face it. Number three, separate the task from the emotion. Handle what needs to be handled and come back to it later. In these moments we're in, we're less likely to be able to show the emotion. The biggest thing is not compartmentalizing it and not locking it away. Handle what needs to be handled, but make sure you come back to that emotion if you're in a place where you can't acknowledge it directly at that time. Number four is have a real outlet. Find your people, talk it out. Couple brothers, we talk weekly and bi-weekly. We'll hop on the phone. Typically don't schedule it for no more than like 30 minutes, but a lot of times we end up going and going, and it could be hour-long conversations, which is a fantastic release and a way to break up your week just by decompressing with somebody that is like-minded, somebody that shares some similar situations, but most importantly, somebody that's trying to grow. Number five, be mindful of who you open up to. So proceed with caution. Validate the situation before you release too much. I'm gonna add in a sixth one, one that I'm actually implementing this week. So I have a whiteboard in my office. What I've written on it is what's important this week. This can be, you can break it up however you want. I'm probably going to mix and I'm probably gonna mix and match personal with like business or house bills or so. I'm gonna run through, I'm gonna do at least the top five things I want to get done in priority for myself personally and professionally for this week only. I think this one is gonna help me out a lot because I get overwhelmed with everything I want to do, knowing I can't eat an elephant in one bite. I still try to. So this will lay everything out. It'll tell me, hey, these are the things you said were important this week. Nothing else matters. I definitely feel like I gotta touch an ADHD because when I start something and I see something out of place, the first mission I was on is now delayed. I was like, man, I gotta wash clothes. Oh, these shoes are out of place. Let me go put the shoes where they go. By the time I go put the shoes where they go, I'm finding something else out of place. And it's oh, let me put this back in its place. And then, oh, let me change this around. Oh, let me move this. And I haven't washed, it's been like hours. Haven't put one article of clothing in a washing machine. This for me is gonna help me stay in alignment with what I said was important for that week and not getting distracted by the things that are in the way or in the way of my travels, things that might pop up. I now can schedule these things and say, no, I need these done this week. Then if you got more time or if I have more time after these important things are completed, then I can go and do some of the other things. Maybe that can help you out as well. I just want

Boundaries And Crucial Conversations

Ty 14:42

to remind you that for one, just like now I understand and I know this, we all know we're not alone. I feel like we do. I know I know I'm not. It's a little scary when you start to involve things into the situation. When you don't know someone's gone through something, it's even more tougher to open up and kind of have a conversation about it. But I I say all that to say, you're not alone, and it's okay to have to break down. It's okay when you get overwhelmed. We just need to know the best course of action that respects ourselves in our situation and allows our release to be healthy. On the flip side, please refrain from release overload, meaning you've held things in for so long, when you boil over, the next person is going to get everything for everybody. We're at a point where we need to start to face some of these things head on, have some of these hard conversations. Because having a hard conversation, honestly, after every, I call them crucial conversations. Crucial conversations is a great book, by the way. But after having some of these crucial conversations, you build confidence on being able to do it again. You build respect for yourself and you feel more confident in your in your own skin. And you're you've set a boundary without even setting one. So now people know how to respect you because they're not gonna do anything outside of what you already checked, or outside of what you already spoken to, or let them know how you feel about it. Some people you might need to do it once or twice. Hey, I prefer it this way. If you're gonna ask me to do something, this is what I'm willing to do. Don't ex don't expect what I'm gonna do, you know, things like that. Just want you to understand you're not in it alone, and just take that time you need, man. You need to cry in the car, you need to go for a walk, you need to walk it off, steam it off. Just don't move with emotions in the professional setting, is essentially what I'm trying to get at. That's one thing that has helped me out. But the the line you teeter is when you are all business in the business world, it's hard to turn it on and off sometimes. So when you go home, you're still in business mode, but we gotta make sure we're hitting the switch. There's no emotions in business. Well, there shouldn't be any emotions in business. When you come home, you should be able to, you know, you gotta tap back into the emotion. I say no emotions in business. That's something I was taught in the corporate world because your feelings can't get hurt and you thinking this is not fair and this is not this and this is not that. And essentially, if you're gonna play the game, you need to play the game, but bringing emotions to it, you're playing the game completely wrong. That's something you want me to talk about. I definitely could. I don't want to get long-winded and go off on tangents, so let's go ahead and close this up. If

Keep Going With Intention

Ty 17:41

you've been showing up while carrying something heavy, I see you. Because that takes strength. Even if nobody else noticed it, you don't have to ignore what you feel. But don't let it convince you that you're not going to make it through. Because you've already proven that you can. So take your moments when you need them, reset when you can, and keep going. Not perfectly, but intentionally. We'll continue this conversation next Sunday at 8 a.m. Lord willing. Peace and love.

Share Your Story And Subscribe

Ty 18:15

Thank you for joining me on the Scarred Sons podcast. Remember, every Scar tells a story, and every story has the power to inspire growth. If today's episode resonated with you, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to reach out and share your journey. Don't forget to stay up to date with the podcast by liking, commenting, and subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts. You can also follow us on Instagram at ScarredPeriod Sons for more content and updates. Until next time, keep moving forward, keep healing, and remember scars don't define you, they shape you. Stay strong, and I'll see you in the next episode. Peace.