When Your Mind Won’t Let You Rest

Your mind can be the loudest room you walk into. When we keep replaying the past, rehearsing the future, and trying to control every outcome, it does not make us safer, it makes us stuck. I open up about what that spiral looks like in real life: the stress, the stalled progress, and the “escape” habits that feel good for a minute but cost us later.

I share a turning point from the morning of my birthday when I caught my thoughts before they ran the whole day. A brother gave me a simple practice: when anxiety, trauma, or uncertainty shows up, search for a verse that speaks to it and let it speak back. For me, Philippians 4:6-9 became a reset, not a lecture: don’t worry, pray, ask, and give thanks. I’m not here to force beliefs on anyone, but I am here to be honest about what works for my mental health and spiritual health when my mind won’t slow down.

From there, we get practical: how to interrupt a thought loop early, say the truth out loud, release what you can’t control, move your body to break the cycle, replace the input that feeds your mood, and do one small task that creates clarity. We also talk about reflection, remembering what you’ve already overcome, and building a daily habit of disconnecting for 10 to 15 minutes in silence or nature in a world full of noise, content, and doomscrolling.

If you’re working on stress management, anxiety, personal growth, or faith and mental health, hit play and walk with me. Subscribe, share this with someone who’s been stuck in their head, and leave a review so more scarred sons and daughters can find the space.

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Transcript

When Your Mind Will Not Rest

Ty 0:00

There are moments where everything looks fine on the outside, but your mind won't let you rest. You're thinking about everything, running scenarios, playing conversations back, trying to figure it all out before it even happens. And it's exhausting. Trust me. I've been there where the loudest thing in your life isn't what's happening around you, it's what's going on in your head. Let's talk about it. Welcome to the Scarred Sons Podcast, where we dive into scars of life and the outcomes they shape. This podcast is a space for honest conversations about my journey, the lessons learned, the struggles endured, and the growth that followed. Geared towards helping other sons with scars. We'll explore topics like personal development, mental and spiritual health, and the path to becoming the best version of yourself. Let's navigate these challenges together, one story at a time. Let's dive in.

A Safe Space And A Disclaimer

Ty 0:56

The views expressed on this podcast are based on my personal experiences and insights. I am not a licensed therapist, counselor, or medical professional, and the content shared is not intended as a substitute for professional advice or guidance. Please consult a qualified professional for advice tailored to your specific needs. I am not responsible for any decisions or outcomes resulting from the use of this content. What's up to all my scar signs out there? I'm your host, Ty. Before we dive in, I want you to know this is a safe space. I'm not here as someone who has it all figured out, just a man willing to speak his truth. And if you carry scars, welcome home. We spend

Overthinking The Future And Past

Ty 1:31

so much time in our heads. It's crazy. Thinking, replaying, trying to get ahead of life before life happens. Telling ourselves we're just being careful. But really, we're just stuck in a loop. Trying to avoid mistakes, trying to protect ourselves, trying to make the right decision every time. But it's not just about what hasn't happened yet. It's also about what I already did. Past mistakes, things you wished you handled differently, moments that didn't go how you planned. And now you're replaying it over and over again. Trying to make sense of it. Trying to figure out what you could have done better. And before you know it, you're not moving anywhere. You're just thinking. At some point, I had to be honest with myself. A lot of what I'm worrying about, I don't even control. I mean, things that have happened to me, decisions other people have made, situations that fell through, relationships that no longer are intact, jobs I no longer have, businesses I gave up on, not being picked for this role, not feeling a part of the family, or not feeling a part of the blood, just not feeling welcome, not feeling included, feeling secluded, feeling isolated. Not the outcome, not the timing, not how everything plays out. But also, I can't go back and change what's already happened. I can't do the mistake, I can't rewrite the moment, and I definitely can't fix it in my head. No matter how many times I replay it, but I'm still sitting here trying to safeguard my life. Like I'm in control of any of it. Now, don't get me wrong. We do have some control about how we approach every single thing I just listed. Don't get me wrong. We're trying to control what's ahead and still holding on to what's behind. I'm not in control of either. So now guess what? I'm stressed. Stressed over things that were never mine to carry in the first place. This is where it starts to show up. When I

The Escape Traps Screens And Food

Ty 4:05

stay in my head too long, I stop moving. I become unproductive. I feel stuck. I start looking for ways to escape. Doom scrolling on social media, watching endless videos. I love YouTube. I barely watch TV though. Some of the YouTube videos are just purely for entertainment. Others, I'm trying to learn something and become better. But in other cases, along with that video I'm watching, I'm definitely overeating. Picking and choosing meals that help me overcome diabetes to the point where I don't even have to take medication anymore. But I choose in these moments to do any little thing, no matter how it's gonna affect my body, my mind, or my spirit. I'm just looking for an escape in that moment. I just want to feel better. Just for a moment. But none of it actually fixes anything. And if I can tell you anything about the eating, once you go down a path, it's tough to get back. I mean, you make one slip up, and that food, that processed food you put in your body, is already asking for more. So we definitely gotta be careful about these things.

A Birthday Reset With Philippians

Ty 5:19

The morning of my birthday, a couple of weeks ago, I decided to go down to a local coffee shop. I grabbed a matcha, sat down, grabbed me a window seat to look out at the city downtown. It was quiet, it was pretty early, but my mind started going where it usually goes. Just thinking about life. Where I am, where I'm not yet, what still feels unsettled, not overwhelmed, just aware. And in that moment, I caught it. Because about a month ago, a brother of mine gave me something. He told me when you feel your mind starting to go there, starting to go in these places of anxiety or places of trauma or places of uncertainty, search up a verse that speaks to what you're feeling. And once you get that verse, read it and let it speak to you. Come back to it if you need to. And this time, instead of sitting in it, I actually used it right there in that moment. Not because I was spiraling, but because I didn't want to. I didn't want to walk into another year letting stress ruin my life. So I went looking and I was led to this. There's a verse that I stumbled upon after doing a search, gave me a recommendation to read. Philippians 4, 6 through 9 in the New Living Testament. It reads, Don't worry about anything. Instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done. And that hit me because it doesn't say figure it out. It says pray. It doesn't say control everything, it says give it to God. And it says when you do that, you'll experience a peace that doesn't even make sense. On this very day, once this strategy hit me that my brother gave me, I was done with my matcha. That was a good matcha, by the way. I hopped in the truck. I actually online. I had a little bit of matcha left, but I wanted to get to the scripture. And I wanted to find a place where I can read it, not be distracted by what's coming across the window that I'm looking out onto, and feel some solitude in the moment. So anyway, I jump in the truck and I drive less than a mile up the road. It's a little park area. Pulled over to the side. It was nice because it was mild weather, but the sun was out. You can crack your windows and still get that coolness, that cool breeze before the humidity kicked up. I get over there, I get in the truck, find a verse on my Bible app, read it, sit with it for a little bit, take a couple sips of my matcha. I'm starting to already just my body's like calming because in my mind, I'm like, man, how in the world every birthday I feel like I'm in the same position for the past maybe four to five years. This same financial strain in and out of these relationships and not quite having it all figured out. Just thinking of everything that's not where I want it to be. And it's not that I'm in a horrible place in life, it's about perspective too. I have a lot to be thankful for, I have a lot to be grateful for. I can always say I could want more or I would like to be more stable, but I feel like that's an ongoing thing. So as I'm reading this verse, I'm already calming down. My body temps cooling off. I'm level-headed again. Whereas in the past, I would have ran, my mind would have been running all day long. My wife talking to me while I got thoughts going on in my mind. I'm trying to be present with her. I'm trying to take a nap, but the thoughts won't stop. I'm trying to work, the thoughts won't stop. This strategy, even though it's the first time I pulled it out and actually put it to practice, very beneficial. I'm not telling you that you gotta go read the Bible, you gotta, you know, find a scripture. I don't know what your beliefs are, and I'm not trying to force nothing upon you. I'm just telling you what works for me. Because I realized I was spending time worrying instead of releasing it, that time we spend overthinking, worrying, stressing. That's misused time. Because instead of building, we're sitting still. And in that stillness, we don't get better. We just get more overwhelmed.

Mirror Moment For The Man

Ty 9:53

Let's pause here for a quick minute. I feel like this is a good moment to pause for the mirror moment for this week. So let's stop here for the mirror moment. The mirror moment is a space where we slow down and take an honest look at the man in the mirror. No distractions, no pressure, just reflection. Look at the man in the mirror, that voice in your head, is it helping you move forward or keeping you stuck? How much time have you spent thinking about things you never had control over in the first place? And if you're being honest, has it brought you peace or just made you more anxious? What would change if instead of holding on to those thoughts, you gave them to God and moved? Thank you for listening to this week's mirror moment. Let's get back to the episode.

Practical Steps To Break The Loop

Ty 10:56

So I had to ask myself, what am I replacing my worry with? Because if I don't replace it, I'm just gonna repeat it. And I started realizing getting out of your head isn't just about thinking different, it's about doing something different. So here's what I've been working on interrupting the thought early. As soon as I feel my mind starting a loop, I don't let it run for 10 to 15 minutes anymore. I catch it early because the longer you sit in it, the stronger it feels. And the more it becomes feeling like it's really true. When we know it isn't. I say it out loud and not just in my head. Out loud, why am I thinking like this? Do I even control this? Because when you say it out loud, you start separating yourself from the thought. I used to be worried about people seeing me talk to myself or people seeing me like speaking out loud. But honestly, it ain't about nobody but us. In those moments, we need to do what's best for us to make sure we come out on a brighter, more positive side. Thirdly, I give it somewhere to go. Instead of holding it, release it. Pray. Not a long prayer, just a real one. I speak to God just like he's sitting right next to me. God, this is what's on my mind. I can't control this, I can't handle this. I'm giving this to you. Simple. Put in there what exactly you're dealing with or going through because he already knows. Voicing it and getting it out does make a difference. Fourth, move your body. Don't stay sitting in it. Go for a walk, ride your bike, do something physical because your body can break cycles, your mind keeps feeding. I do this quite often. I just keep moving and honestly getting out in nature for a walk. I go to the track or I go to a green run or excuse me, a green way that does miracles. Even when I'm tired and I get out there or I'm just riding my bike, when I get back, I got this boost of energy and ideas and visions. That's insane. Just like I'm just talking to God and he calms me down after speaking to him. It's not always immediate, but now my mind is open and aware to what he has to come. And so, five, the fifth thing I do is replace the input. If you stay in silence, your thoughts get louder. So be intentional. Put on something that builds you, an audiobook, a podcast, a scripture, or some music that lifts your spirits. Something that shifts what you're hearing. Please be cautious with this one because with music specifically, I would choose the music by how I was feeling. So if I was in a negative mood, I wanted some negative music. If I was heated about a situation, I wanted music that spoke to the person being heated about a situation. All this does is keeps us in that cycle. It does not bring about positivity because all we've done is trauma bonded through music. We don't really know this person, but we can hear that their experience is similar. And I'm not going to put down every artist and say they don't put a positive spin on things, but when you're in the heat of a moment, you typically want to lash out at whatever the thing is, whatever that noun is, and give it a piece of your mind. And so we just just alarming you to be cautious with your music selections and where it could drive you. The sixth thing, do one small thing that moves your life forward. And this is the final thing. This is this is big. Not everything, just one thing. So whether that's sending the email, clean up something, maybe it's your work area that's cloud helping you cloud your mind even more because stuff is scattered all over the place, or cleaning your car, or wherever your area is, tidying it up can make a big difference. Handle one task you've been avoiding because movement creates clarity, sitting creates confusion. This is very important, and this may be important before you talk to God or before you try to choose a piece of music. You may just need to reset the area that you are residing in. If it's dark, if it's gloomy, no light, no sun, it just keeps you in that mood. So just be cautious. I'm not saying a moody area is bad, but a disorganized area can keep the clutter visually, which sinks into your mind or transfers or trend or travels to your mind too and connects and be like, oh, this one's supposed to be. My mind is cluttered and my space is cluttered, and it doesn't give you any type of motivation to clear out anything. You can be strong and still battle your thoughts. You can have faith and still feel anxious sometimes. That doesn't make you weak. That makes you human. But staying there, that's a choice. And I'm learning I don't need to think more to feel better. I need to trust more. And I need to be intentional with what I do when those thoughts show up. So instead of sitting in it, I'm choosing to move, to pray, to build, and to pour into myself. Because peace isn't found in overthinking, it's found in letting go and trusting God with what I can't control. In these moments, if you're experiencing anything like this, the most simplest thing to do is to disconnect from whatever the thought is. And so through this pod, I've been trying my best to articulate ways you can do this. But no matter which way way you choose, I didn't put these in a list of what to do first. They're just things that I do randomly put together. But the biggest thing to do is to disconnect from the thought. That's the first thing you want to try to do. Whatever you feel comfortable with, if you're having a negative thought right now, or if you're overthinking and just obsessing about a scenario that's going on right now, I want you to know continuing to obsess about it will do no good. It will not get you progress, it will not get you an answer out, it will not give you any direction, it will keep you there. It keeps your body in the moment, it keeps your body in that scenario, in that situation, and it offers no exit. It's a loop, it's a hamster wheel, it's a trap. So as quickly as you can escape. You have the key to the door. In all of these scenarios up in our mind, we have the key to get out. We have the key to exit the escape room. We are given that key. God gives us that key. I'm not trying to make this spiritual. I'm just telling you what works for me. Not trying to get you to start doing anything different than what you do. But I do want you to remove yourself from these thoughts because they do you no good.

Remember What You Already Overcame

Ty 18:48

Another thing I do that I just realized I did not mention is I reflect a lot. I reflect a lot about another scenario that may have been just as deep or may have been bothersome to me because of how I'm thinking about it. And I realize, how did I come out of this? How did I get to the other side when I had this thought before? If I had this a similar situation, or if I had a worse situation, how am I still standing here and didn't get over it or didn't get through it? We overcome so much in this life. We're moving so quickly. We forget things. We forget where we started. We forget what we said. Man, if I just get this, I'm gonna be good. But guess what? You got that, and now you you're still not good. You got the money, you're still not good. You got the car, you're still not good. You got the clothes, whatever it is that you said you wanted. You got the piece of paper, you got the the diploma, you got the degree, you got the relationship, you got the marriage, you got the position, but yet we have these thoughts in our minds like we never overcame anything. Like you've been on this earth as long as you have, and you had no power to overcome a single thing. That's a lie. Come on, man, that's a lie. Go back on your scenarios, go back on your on your traumas, go back on your challenges. I'm not saying you overcame everything, but there's gotta be one situation that you were able to escape, that you were able to overcome. And it may not be have been all power in yourself, but you know if you've got out of something before you can do it again. Whether that's all internal or whether that's spiritual, or wherever you go, you can overcome it. It does zero good. And I'm sorry to keep repeating this, but I want you to understand because I'm not only speaking to you, I'm speaking to myself too. I'm in here with you. I promise I'm here with you. Probably my number one audience member and listener of my own podcast because I need to hear this just as much as any other scarred son in the world or any other scarred daughter needs to hear this. Take eat, man. Understand, no matter how tough this is, no matter how hard it seems, we can't stay in our head about it and get through it. It just does not work. It does not work, man. Choose something off the list I offered, whether that's get taking a quick walk, whether that's even if you at work and you just this thing is killing you. It's racking your brain. You can't even really focus on work. Let somebody know at your job. Hey, I need to take a quick 10, 15 minutes. Leave the phone, leave any device you have where someone can connect with you in the car or at home, or excuse me, in your office. Go to your car, sit in your car quietly. You're gonna turn on the air, whatever. Don't turn on the music. Hopefully, you're in a place where you don't have too many distractions, too many people walking around you. But just sit there for the 10 minutes. Just sit in silence. Those are where most of my answers come from. When I actually sit down. When I think I'm moving and I think I'm solving problems, and I'm just solving everybody else's problem and leaving myself last because I want to please somebody else so I can so I can obtain something I think that's going to help my situation versus just putting myself first and versus just disconnecting when I need to disconnect and staying in tune with myself and my higher spiritual power and talking to God and being in alignment with His will over my life. That's when I get answers that work. I can manufacture an answer in a heartbeat. Is it gonna help me overcome? I don't know. I'm not gonna say that's true. But I will say when it comes from my maker, I gotta trust it. Because it's worked so many times in the past. There's no way it's not gonna work. There's no way I'm not gonna trust him. If you're not spiritual, I get it. So what I need you to do is disconnect from the world five to ten minutes. Five to ten minutes. Make it a habit. I used to also, when I got home from work, I used to sit in the truck before I came in the house because I needed to let that whatever I went through in the day, I needed to not take it inside the house to my wife. She didn't deserve it, she didn't play a part in it, and it was it's it's it's wrong to pass it over to her. But that's learned behavior that I'm changing. That's learned behavior that that's how I was taught to do it. That's another decompression state, that's another piece of time that you can disconnect and get your thoughts together so you're not taking too much of one thing into another. Allow your home to be a peaceful place and don't bring distractions into it that don't need to be there. And if you can't do that at home, another suggestion I think is pretty good is to find a place of nature, whether it's a park, whether it's an airport where I used to go to the airport too, where you can watch the airplanes take off and land. Just find you a place where there's not too much going on, where you can just ground yourself. Not physically, but like just sit in your car if you want to. Or if you find a spot you feel comfortable getting out, sitting, do it. Leave your connect, leave your device in the car. Don't take your device, don't take no speakers, don't take no headphones. You can take headphones if you want, don't play no music. Just sit quiet, take a light jog, take a walk, whatever you want to do. The point of this is to disconnect. In the world we live in today, we are consuming a lot of content, a lot of music, a lot of just noise, news. It's so much to be consumed. We don't disconnect enough, in my opinion, to understand what we are mentally. Because we go from waking up in the morning, we're checking our phone, we got to check our work phone because we got to get to work, we get to work, we got to check emails, checking the phone throughout the day, and I'm checking my social media so much now that it's detrimental. I'm checking it like someone's DMing me. And I don't even, that's not even my thing. I'm checking my phone so much that it's it's it's it's worrisome. Honestly, it's a distraction. You're just adding like we could be going through so many emotions just scrolling through Instagram. You can be sad, you can be frustrated, you can be happy and stressed in less than 10 seconds. I'm I'm gonna get off because I think I'm getting long-winded and I think I'm just kind of being redundant now. But I think you get it. The biggest thing is disconnect. Whether you take nothing from what I said today, if you can disconnect from your life, just unplug 10 to 15 minutes a day to reset your mind so that you can clear out all the clutter. Just clear it all out. I'm gonna leave you with that. I'll

Closing Words And Ways To Connect

Ty 26:44

be here next Sunday, Lord willing, at 8 a.m. And we'll continue the conversation. Peace and love. Thank you for joining me on the Scarred Sons podcast. Remember, every scar tells a story, and every story has the power to inspire growth. If today's episode resonated with you, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to reach out and share your journey. Don't forget to stay up to date with the podcast by liking, commenting, and subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts. You can also follow us on Instagram at ScarredPeriodSons for more content and updates. Until next time, keep moving forward, keep healing, and remember scars don't define you, they shape you. Stay strong, and I'll see you in the next episode. Peace.